How to deal with Telemarketers

This is atributed to Andey Rooney which I cant confirm or deny the validity of. Feel free to let me know if he said the following.

Tips for Handling Telemarketers

Three Little Words That Work !!

(1)The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.


(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.


This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!!

(3) Junk Mail Help:
When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the ret urn envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 37 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.
Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!
If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 37 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea !

If enough people follow these tips, it will work ---- I have been doing this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore.

On Profiling

Brenda gave a link to this

Leftist Liberal Loony Brain

Found Here warning the site is filled with satire

T-Shirts

9/11 Truck

9-11 Truck

A trucker who has painted his cab and trailer with the names of all those who lost their lives in 9/11. The trucker's name is John Holmgren from Shafer , Minn. The trucker has been " pulled over" numerous times just so the troopers can get their picture taken with the truck.
thanks to kim for sending this in

Giant Woodpecker

Thanks to Jeffro for sending this in. feel free to send in a proper title for this picture just keep it Pg-13

thanks to babbazee for this

Kittens and Guns

Seperated at Birth

hat tip to LGF poster EC Marm here
and yes its a photoshop

Employee of the Month

Cell phone use

found here

The Stevens Plan

IF YOU'RE A MUSLIM - IT'S YOUR PROBLEM

WHEN will the Muslims of Britain stand up to be counted?

When will they declare, loud and clear, with no qualifications or quibbles about Britain's foreign policy, that Islamic terrorism is WRONG?

Most of all, when will the Muslim community in this country accept an absolute, undeniable, total truth: that Islamic terrorism is THEIR problem? THEY own it. And it is THEIR duty to face it and eradicate it.

To stop the denial, endless fudging and constant wailing that somehow it is everyone else's problem and, if Islamic terrorism exists at all, they are somehow the main victims.

Because until that happens the problem will never be resolved. And there will be more 7/7s and, sometime in the future, another airplane plot will succeed with horrific loss of innocent life.

Equally important, those British politicians who have seemed obsessed with pandering to, and even encouraging, this state of denial, must throw off their politically-correct blinkers and recognise the same truth—that Muslim terrorism in Britain is the direct responsibility of British Muslims.


go read it all over here

Global Warming

hat tip to Kim

more funnies

Interesting Stats

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.

3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.

4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!

6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.

7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.

9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

11. The average housefly lives for one month.

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.

18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.

19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie."

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.

21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case there is a crash.

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.

26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

Got it figured out?????????

They are all true....
Now go back and think about #16

Hat tip Kim

Hat Tip Kim

Redneck Harley

Hat Tip to Kim

From the Duke

hat tip to kim for this one

Billboard

is it real or photoshopped? lesson here is something about a woman scorned. hat tip to kim for sending this in

Funny found in my e-mail

I have a Labrador retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart
and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
Rather than doing the "here's your sign" thing ala Bill Engvall, I told
her
"No, I'm starting The Purina Diet again."
I went on to say that I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in
both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one
or two every time you feel hungry and since the food is nutritionally
complete, I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food
poisoned me.  I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my
balls
when I got hit by a car.
I thought the guy was going to need help as he staggered to the door
bent
over with laughter.

Hat tip to kim keep em coming

Where did i find it

came across this but cant remember who's site it came from any help is appreciated

Friday Afternoon Critters

Caption Needed

Porcupine Babies

CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THIS DUDE LOOKS LIKE WET? HA HA HA

ALL! RIGHT, WHO CHOSE WHO WE STAND BY? I HAVE STANDARDS

guess which one i right clicked on and which ones were sent to me by lilac